Tuesday 5/18

Jaxson in his new jammies......mind you, these are preemie jammies, and they are still just a little too big for him. But he still looks great in them! I think cerulean is his color....

The nurses weighed him again last night with the standard scale and he was 4 lbs. 12 oz. That's more like it. He'll be 5 lbs by the weekend. Crazy.

I held him today...he slept the whole time, but it was early. He had an assessment at 8am and I held him at 10:30am. He was stirring, but when I talked sweetly to him, he calmed down and went to sleep. When it was time to put him back in his bed, it was also smelling like a diaper change was in order. He got really fussy at that point. It makes me get really anxious and sweaty when he cries...I know it's a mom thing...and this is going to sound weird probably, but his cries are so damn cute! But they also break my heart because I know he is crying for a reason...and I don't know exactly what it is. That's the worst feeling!!

I cannot wait to get him home, crying or not. Jeff and I both are really getting anxious to have him here with us so we can spoil him with tons and tons and tons of love. Jeff has even started saying "I want my baby!!". The constant "want" is so heavy on both of our hearts. I could easily shut down for 6 weeks until he gets here. With the pumping and constant sleepiness, I could probably use up about 4 more hours of my day sleeping ( my own weird time travel)....but I can't do that. I have to keep us going. The only real peace I'm experiencing right now is when I'm with Jaxson. I think Jeff feels the same....it's literally like a piece of you is someplace else.

The days are actually going by really fast....I'm like a zombie going through the motions during the day...when I sit down here at night to write on the blog, I look back on the day and wonder how I even managed to drive to the hospital without having an accident. Hormones...they're a beyatch.

Some days are hard...that's all I can say. Today was hard.

Jeff is taking Brian to see Jaxson on Thursday evening after work. If anyone wants to visit, let me know! I just need like a days notice. Only two people can go in at once and one of them always must be Jeff or myself.

It's usually better to go at 8am, noon, 4pm or 8 pm. Those are the times he's awake for assessments (diaper change, temperature check, etc).

Enjoy the pics...they sure are cute!

Love,
Sheree